Like engagement rings denote the engagement… Maybe it’s just English being its usual mess

  • friend_of_satan@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    A wearer of an engagement ring receives it when they become engaged, and a wearer of a wedding ring receives it when they wed. Seems pretty consistent to me.

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, you get it at the event.

      OP is acting like a birthday gift is only a birthday gift on someone’s birthday…

      • SkyNTP@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        Your logic is sound, but backwards.

        Marriage is more analogous to a birthday. (A personal change in status)

        Wedding is more analogous to a birthday party (i.e. the event celebrating the change in status).

        As you pointed out in your logic, the birthday gift isn’t really about the birthday party, just like the ring doesn’t commemorate the wedding celebration, it commemorates your new marital status.

        Unless of course you are the kind of person that is so focused on the wedding celebration that you forget the reason why you are celebrating to begin with (spoiler: you are making a commitment and entering a new life stage).

        I think OP is on to something.

        • lenuup@reddthat.com
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          2 months ago

          A wedding ring shows that you are wed. Just like an engagement ring shows that your engaged. A wedding is an event, being wed is a change in status. The logic is sound. Confusion only enters the mix, because ‘being wed’ is less common as a phrase than ‘being married’.

    • CelloMike@startrek.websiteOP
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      2 months ago

      I get that, but also, it’s always seemed like the purpose of the ring is to signify the state of being, so engagement ring to show the state of being engaged, wedding ring shows the state of being married, or wed, I guess it works both ways

      Not a strongly held view by any means 😆

    • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
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      2 months ago

      Your logic makes sense. To OP’s point, though, you wear an engagement ring to show that you are engaged; a wedding ring to display you are married/wed. The argument for it being called when you receive it is weakened by the fact that most people remove their rings when an engagement is broken, or they get divorced. Or, they move the ring to a different finger, at which point it’s no longer an engagement or wedding ring, right? It’s just a ring.

      If the rings were named after the event of reception, they’d still be called wedding and engagement rings even after a broken relationship. They’re “was” rings; ex-wedding-rings. No longer engagement rings.

      So the more I think about it, the more I’m with OP - the rings represent a state, and so wedding rings should be called “marriage” rings to represent the state of being engaged/married, rather than the singular event of the giving.

    • Thelsim@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      In Dutch it’s called a trouwring, which as a verb literally translates to wedding ring, but as a noun also to loyalty ring.
      Which I find rather sweet.

      • CelloMike@startrek.websiteOP
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        2 months ago

        Ooh neat, think that’s from the same root as troth/betrothal in English too, proto German for truth & fidelity

        • bob_lemon@feddit.org
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          2 months ago

          German also has Trauring (and related words) going back to that root. Although it’s rather archaic and not used nearly as much as Ehe or Heirat. And then there’s Hochzeit for just the ceremony.

          I never realized how many words we use for wedding…

    • josteinsn@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      In Norwegian same thing: giftering, “the state of being married-ring”. Jeg er gift = i am married. It also means “I am poison”, though.

  • 11111one11111@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You receive an engagement ring at your engagement and your wedding ring at your wedding. How is this difficult?

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      And you receive a key ring at key moments in your life, such as upon taking possession of a property or car.

  • orcrist@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Maybe you’re confused because the etymology is not clear to you. I see the term “wedding ring” and I think it denotes that person A and person B are being wed to each other. Joined to each other. The ring symbolizes that joining. In other words, I don’t think the ring is named after the event. I think both the ring and the event are named after the verb. In which case it’s a very normal name.

    Another interesting point is that in some cultures it’s quite common for people to get married months or years before they have a wedding. They can go to City Hall and get married, and then later when they have time and money they can schedule their wedding celebration party. If that’s the case, then the ring that you use for the first time at your wedding might be reasonably called the “wedding ring”.

  • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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    2 months ago

    Reminds me of an old Yakov Smirnoff routine. Espresso powder makes espresso, and milk powder makes milk. So what does baby powder make?

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Some people never even get “wedding rings” and just wear the fancy looking engagement rings forever.

    That being said, wedding rings make use of the wed/wedded connotations. :shrug:

    • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      While I don’t see the necessity in wearing a ring in the first place - yet I am a sucker for rings - what always gets me is having a fancy overpriced engagement ring that you’re supposed to wear for a short period of time and then a simple wedding ring that you’re supposed to wear forever.

      • wildcardology@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You can blame the debeers company for the engagement ring. Just like you can blame Kellogg’s for the slogan “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”.

      • Jikiya@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Wait, do you know women that stop wearing their engagement ring after they’re married? Every married woman I’ve met (that doesn’t have a hands based labor job) wears the engagement and wedding ring. All the women in my family have them soldered together some time after, so they don’t independently spin on the finger.

        • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          I’ve known one woman who sometimes wore the engagement instead of the wedding ring but this was very odd and uncommon. I know everyone keeps their engagement ring but hardly anyone ever wears them, let alone on a regular basis.

          • Jikiya@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            I am curious what region you’re from. I would guess it’s outside of the US, but perhaps there’s an area that differs from the norm I’ve experienced.

            If you are indeed outside the US, I’m guessing it’s the American tradition of engagement rings, without the tradition of continuing to wear the engagement rings. That truly would be a (bigger) waste of money.