KingJalopy

No no you do you. I was kind of making a shitty joke that may or may not have been about very recent events here where I live…

Don’t mind me, I’m kind of uptight last couple of days

So why the asterisk here?

Is cursing banned on the Internet now?

I just listened to this in bed last night! Great for sleeping. Love this guy.

Wow, you had flour at your house? Who’s the capitalist pig now? Must’ve been nice eating bread.

I tried to tell this to some kid at my child’s school’s trunk or treat the other day he said, “sorry all I have is a pillowcase” and I said dude that’s the way to rock it. You can fit way more candy in it. Plus you can sneak some in your room by stuffing your pillow in there. I never used a bucket as a kid. I always used the pillowcase.

Now that I think about it we were also really poor…

Straight from bored panda after they stole it from reddit. This meme has legs!

All they have to do is write some childish gibberish about sOvUrNty in red crayon and place it prominently in their something something deed rights to land front door and they can’t actually arrest them.

Or that people aren’t ever in the McDonald’s drive thru

Enough to make a grown man cry

Nice

We are all American on this blessed day

Today is kind of a not very blessed day at least in America

That shit ass has a poop butt

My little poop butt can be a real shit ass

I like it

That penis envy strain is no joke

It might seem difficult, but it’s never too late to go back to school as a 40 year old in your underwear! We believe you in you! Even if you don’t make it I’ll bet you end up with some kind of certificate or cool title…

I got told the other day by all my friends they’re called slides and I’m wrong for calling them flip flops. They told me flip flops go between your toes and I said no, those are thongs. Then they said no, those go between your ass checks. I quit arguing at that point.

That might be the worst riddle I’ve ever riddled

I’m sure the water put it out.

Looks like it can run doom

Either way you gonna wake up wondering what year it is and tryna figure out where the fuck you are.