IDS (Imminent Death Syndrome) puts us all in an awkward position.

He could go at any moment… he’s got entitilitus!

An Honored Matre with her sexy skills!

The opposite of a Bulwer-Lytton!

How about a threefer with
Jerry
Lee
Lewis!

Reminds me of that Simon & Garfunkel lyric, along the lines of

…he’s so unhip
when you say Dylan
he thinks you’re talking about Dylan Thomas!
Whoever he was.

For a moment there, I thought the younger people of America had in them the capacity to do the obvious righteous thing, and to banish the demons once and for all.
The younger people of America have shown what they are made of, and never again will I overestimate them.

They’ve done it before and they’ll fucking do it again.
All these young new potential voters! A fresh wave of idiot!

Aw hell yeah, Sparkomatic!

Buy it at your local Fleetwood Mart.

Kool Aid Pitcher Man and Rev. Jim Jones. Name a more iconic duo.

EDIT: You know, because of the TV movie of the late 70s-early 80s, I got used to putting the face of Powers Boothe on the name Jim Jones, it always feels weird to see the real monster, like an uncanny valley effect.

For some reason, I feel like his stage name should be Baby Leroy.

Where Green?

Dick pics or it didn’t happen!

If that were so, some parts of us would be shrinking faster than the speed of light!

Fuck russia for making me feel indifferent about a drought, for making me feel like they deserve it.

You laugh, but you should see how often I have to go take a leak.
Always with a water by my side. Always tyrannized by my bladder.

Then how about whenever I start washing dishes, soap in my hands, and I suddenly need to urgently go to the bathroom.
The struggle is real WAKE UP SHEEPLE geez…!

Yeah but what about The Da Vinci Code?

How about dialing it down a notch, so it’s just a social faux pas instead?

Judge:
Dudes: Whoa… epic!

Wait till they find out about the couple of comets headed our way!