The trick with that test is that they’re not looking to see whether you can do it. They know you can’t. They’re looking to see whether you think you can. If you show signs of believing it’s possible, that’s probable cause for a search. If you believe you actually pulled it off, you’re drunk.

“If the shoreline fits”

What’s Elon?

Just not that one

I’ll ride on the wing

Homer tells Barney he’ll strangle Bart if CPS responds to Ned’s call

1. Job security
2. its not COBOL

Kibimanjaro, the user-friendly rolling-release distro for cluster computing

My god it’s full of bees!

I spent way too long wondering what it could possibly mean to deduct your mortgage from your rent.

A white with basalt? How gauche.

Pick it up after he throws it and throw it back!

Xyzzy

Hurricanes gonna be lining up around the block in excitement

Or maybe metric should measure in Hartleys

Epic rap battles of capitalism

I’m so glad all those emails don’t go to waste

If he ever dies I fully expect this dialog to appear

Until you cook them. Then they’re purple-ly clear.