That’s the joke.

He just needs to drag an incredibly powerful magnet through the landfill and sort through the metal that sticks to it. Piece of cake.

Someone pushed for a new law outlawing them, but the efforts ended after he accidentally fell off a balcony to his death.

Because time travellers keep appearing with guns?

It’ll still NEED a power cable, it just won’t COME with one.

And the fact that Google didn’t pay them more money than exists in the world will be why Russia blocks Google’s operations in the country and seizes every bit of property they can get their hands on that they say was even vaguely related to Google’s operations. They didn’t even bother with a realistic number, because in the end they don’t really care who does or doesn’t believe them.

No, Salvation Army can get fucked. You couldn’t pay me to shop there.

Turns out it was haunted. Gotta just pack it in and call it quits, shit’s haunted.

The rest of us want future articles to have none of whatever wanker came up with that clickbait-ass headline.

Elmo was really hoping he found a SovCit level loophole to just escape all consequences.

it’s either a crater or a hole. Fuck

Don’t you mean either a crater or a tunnel?

Indentation: “Am I a joke to you?”

It seems pretty clear that if he can’t have it, he’ll do his best to make sure nobody else can either.

Elon Musk’s greatest personal achievement has been his tireless work and incredible effort toward disproving the myth of Billionaire Exceptionalism.

“Free Speech Absolutist.”

And they’re done now right? Mission accomplished, bombings and airstrikes concluded, time to go home? Right guys? Guys?

How are you gonna murder one joke by explaining it, while trying to murder a second joke?

Killing dogs is apparently really popular with those people. Has me wondering if the “Haitians are eating dogs” lie was actually a confession.

I’m sure it’s fine, right guys? Guys? This is the AAAA company, it’ll be great right?

LOL I CANT BELIEB HOW DUM U ALL R LOL

BRB UR MOM IS CALLING ME AGAIN LOL