Can’t relate. No normal friends. Only weirdos.

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Stalin 🤝 Trump
Being a dictator even though he has a team

Many kids recently have been carrying around an addictive and dangerous chemical called dihydrogen monoxide in their bags. The temptation to have a “sip”, as the youth call dosing on the drug, can often be overpowering. Please sign this petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide in schools

Your house is on fire and your entire family is trapped inside.

The firefighters ran in to save your wife, and then got scared and ran out again, and she burned to death.

Then they ran in to save your child, but they got hungry and came back out for lunch. Your child burned to death.

Now your baby is dying, and the firefighters want you to help save it. And you’ve decided to let your baby burn in a fire because you’re mad at the firefighters.

She was technically right that it was her turn. She won the popular vote. The American people chose her. The only reason she wasn’t president, is America isn’t a democracy.

So now that the airport scanner made you gay, what are you going to do with your new gayness?

This corn is raw!

Ha ha!