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You got time to duck?

Gen X is getting AARP literature in the mail. I know some people who’s kids have graduated college.

Unmuted Porn from a crackly laptop speaker

it looks like a forbidden lovers rendezvous…

you know we shouldn’t do this…but I love you…but, we can’t!

vacation? that would crazy.

Where’s diabeetus?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Spawn and Die

I’m using old mac osx with some arbitrary california name? on a tower from 2009? I had to hack the shit out of it to get it to run anything modern. did I win?

explain this to a person in 1998

For real though, I know of 3 Tacoma’s that have over 300k miles and are in daily driver condition.

I used to get sandwich bags of weed from a guy that was a “DJ”. He would weigh out 3.5 grams on a triple beam scale stolen from the science classes at a local high school. Also, I could smoke cigarettes at high school in a special shed.

if you’re going this far to get wrecked, just do heroin

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Please, we need to charge 3x retail for 1/2 the normal amount of usable RAM because of reasons. Also, our cutting edge products are as upgradable as a styrofoam cup.

sent from iPhone

Ad"Choices"…ugh, get stuffed.

👌😉

Do you like camping in a submarine in a volcano of dust and radiation? Let’s Go to the Colonies!

A couch surfing hippy my room mate let stay with us for two horrible weeks decided to make some oily vegan garbage in our stock pot for a “thank you dinner”. I took one bite and almost puked from all the veggie oil she used. I asked if I could skim it off the top of the pot and she got all pissed, grabbed the pot and tried to flush it down our (only) toilet. It immediately overflowed a bunch of oily, undercooked, and flavorless crap onto our bathroom floor. There was much more drama after that involving an expensive bike, an ex boyfriend, unpaid roto-rooter bill, a rental steam cleaner, and new rules involving house guests. bonus: she used all of our food to make it, she bought nothing herself!