I’ve been fostering a family member for a month or so, and it all came to a head today. My wife and I tried, but the behavior was just too much for us to feel safe with our existing children. I hate that we’re giving up and I hate the circumstances that caused this, but it is what it is. If you’re in the same place please don’t beat yourself up; sometimes you can want something really bad and it still not be right for you.
With very rare exceptions, fostering is hard AF. It’s hard on you, it’s hard on your kids, it hard on your family, it’s hard on the fosters. YSaK that there is a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder where kids will lie, cheat, steal when they feel like they’re getting emotionally invested in the new family arrangement to sabotage the situation. There’s a lot of stuff they don’t tell you when you enter the system to try to help.