• Therealgoodjanet@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Damnit, the pope holds all birth certificates? I’m such an idiot, how did I not know?

    There must have a massive archive in the Vatican, holding the birth certificates of 8bil people.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      They’re actually is a archive in the Vatican, but it’s full of all of their dirty laundry and all of the dirt that they’ve scraped together on world leaders for like 1,500 years. As I understand it there’s actually stuff that could start wars down there.

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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      4 months ago

      Yeah, the pope keeps all of them in a big book that also says if you have been naughty or nice.

      • Geobloke@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Hold on. This changes everything. You mean the pope works for Santa? Or the saint’s Clause? I smell a loophole

    • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Wonder who’s keeping track with all the new ones coming in every few seconds and all the people dying every few seconds. Must be one busy post office in there.

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOPM
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      4 months ago

      Me too. I just got some pens at work I actually like and I am hoarding them all for myself. I put them in my work bag so they’re just mine. They improve my handwriting but not much.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        My handwriting has been terrible my whole life, even when I used to write in notebooks all the time. It doesn’t help that I’m left-handed and our alphabet is designed for right-handed people.

    • activ8r@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      I was gonna say it looks like a child wrote it, but I’m honestly not sure I’d do any better 😄

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I can already see some mail-opening underling in Vatican City reading this and trying to figure out what the sender wants…

      • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Isn’t it obvious? He’s “bak” to claim his realm and he needs the kings heir to affirm that he’s returned to earth. Duh.

  • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    wonderful. a British* sovcit where it makes even less sense because there is literally a sovereign ruler.

    edit: or Cypriot I guess, but british birth certificate and Stamps

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Tell ya what I think boo. I think I need to start scamming sovcits, Christians and MAGA. Why am I not getting rich off these idiots?!

    • HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Considering starting a company more than once.

      “I’ve navigated the system and never need to work again. Join me for my 10 min low production value videos where I explain how I did it. Only $300 pay per view which I need for reasons unrelated to the fact that I apparently claimed my millions correctly and still want cash”

      • thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Only $300 because not just anyone is clever enough to participate and I want only the best and most clever investors working with me.

          • thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            “Partner” is a very exclusive title in my circle, and I reserve it only for the most discerning investors, who want to climb to the upper echelons of personal wealth. But you seem like just the right kind of person to me, perhaps I can expedite your application - shall we say a small $10k donation to my charitable foundation?

            • HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Great, where’s the postage stamp i need to sign over, and do you understand agreements with nautical carriers?

              (I cant even drop to this level of stupid when I’m trying)

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOPM
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      4 months ago

      I don’t see why not. Sell ear bandages that you’ve dripped melted chocolate on and say it’s from Trump’s ear.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      4 months ago

      The closest I ever got to persuading a flat earther is pointing out that the guy he’s getting his mystical nonsense from was trying to sell him a $300 pdf to teach him to open his third eye.

  • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    he struck his last name from his birth certificate, but still left it (or some form of it) written in his letter to the Bishop of Rome at the top in the “from” line.

    dumbass.

    edit: also, i can’t exactly determine what this person is hoping to accomplish here (other than to obtain the signature of the Bishop of Rome). What does he believe that his signature will prove, exactly? That he is, in fact, alive? And how will this be achieved, precisely? also, in what way will it establish him as “a foreign entity” and/or “not a Government citizen”?

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      A lot of sovcits believe that they are secretly owners of massive amounts of land and gold for one reason or another(reparations, obscure and outdated contracts with Native American tribes, schizophrenia, etc)

      They believe that being a citizen of their country means that their parents accidentally waved their right to these resources when they were born, and if they simply separate themselves from citizenship, then the government will be forced to give them the land and money.

      • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        There’s a dangerous closeness of this to what’s written in constitutional laws of many states, though, if they are understood literally.

        I’ve been called a sovereign citizen for pointing out that after a stolen election a government is illegitimate, and that a law adopted in violation of constitutional law is not a law, and that being party to a contract requires consent, and so on. And that rights are not given by laws. Nobody can give you a right or take it away from you.

        By “dangerous” I mean that you should explain to sovcits, reichsbuergers, citizens of USSR and such that what they believe in is not supported by existing mechanisms. Simply that. Their ideas are usually not any worse than what we have in really functioning laws, but they don’t have the power to make them real.

        Would you be a sovcit for arguing for equal rights in the 50’s? Just trying an American example. Many people would consider you just as crazy.

        In USSR of 60’s and 70’s dissidents were forcibly put into asylums, because “the society” (as in people having power in it) wanted them to be considered crazy. Where are the smug bastards who were doing that now? Oh, shit, they are still the elites in ex-Soviet states. By the way, Estonia’s former PM Kaja Kallas, who likes to publicly lament over USSR taking over Baltics, is from such a family.

        You shouldn’t argue with the ethical part, because that’d be arguing in favor of “might makes right”.

        I think people who consider something morally right and are ready to oppose the whole world over it deserve utmost respect.

        If you are finding yourself on the opposite side of someone much weaker than you and not threatening you, think again if you should be there.

        I hope this wasn’t too much text, at least better comprehensible that what’s on the photo.

        • Zron@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Proponents for equal rights in the 50s didn’t do arcane legal rituals like putting stamps at a 45 degree angle and signing shit in blood.

          Sovcit ideas have no basis in reality. They aren’t arguing that black people are in fact people, they are arguing that they deserve vast sums of money or to be debt free because of made up fairytales about old law books and contracts between companies and the government.

          • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Sovcit ideas have no basis in reality. They aren’t arguing that black people are in fact people, they are arguing that they deserve vast sums of money or to be debt free because of made up fairytales about old law books and contracts between companies and the government.

            OK, didn’t know this part.

            I also haven’t really met a reichsbuerger or a “citizen of USSR”, so can’t speak about them either.

            It still seems that there are some for whom it’s about justice and not about magic.

            • Zron@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              Oh they all think they’ve suffered some injustice

              Most sovcits have issues with not paying child support. They want to not pay, which is how they get started down this rabbit hole and how they end up with so much debt. They think child support or whatever debt they have is an unfair burden, and try to seek justice for themselves by getting the debt erased.

              Except unlike a normal person who would work overtime to pay or file for bankruptcy, they start citing law books from the 1850s and start referring to themselves as the person John Doe not the legal entity John Doe, and that the person John Doe doesn’t have any debts for whatever bullshit reason they can think of. That’s why they sign stuff in red, because they think black ink is only for corporations, and red ink is for people.

              They think they’re seeking justice for themselves, except they want all of the benefits of being a citizen without any of the responsibility like paying taxes or debts.

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    24 years old? Sounds about right.

    Homey is stoned as fuck. Back in the day it was harder to publish one’s batshit rantings to a global audience.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    Oh come on, this is just a 5 year olds fantasy documents. Yeah, I know it’s not, that makes it just so cringy and painful; how can you make this and not think that the receiver will hang this on their fridge?

  • EdanGrey@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    I’m so confused (I mean, surprising?), why does the letter have a stamp, and why did he send it to Cyprus?

    • VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      It’s from a person named Demetri to the pope informing him that he has returned to earth, which I presume is crazy person speak for ‘I was born’

      He kinda says that because he is created by God and part of God that the pope works for him kinda.

      He requires a signature on a document, I think basically saying the pope agrees he was born and is now a person? The birth certificate covers the stated consequences of the popes’ decision to sign or not within the given 40-day window. I thought for a moment it said if the pope refuses ‘I taze’ but alas he said ‘take’ so no idea what was planned.

      He wants to use this signed document from the pope in official situations, especially to ‘prove’ he isn’t a normal citizen that has to pay taxes and license his car but is instead his own personal country that can do whatever he wants and gets free money for.no reason.